LOOKING IN...

2003-01-14 15:00 | EDDA

LOOKING IN...

(This dialog is not written for myself-.-)

"Sometimes I think that I have saved him, and sometimes I think it true that he saved me. But why did I use to be so kindhearted? I don't mean to hurt anyone, and then what shall I do? You can imagine what harm it would do to those who have no relation to us if he had known my decision."
She sighed out:"I consider you my intimate, will you make a suggestion for me?"

"Just keep watching, no other way, if you don't want us to have any trouble with the irascible guy. But I always intend to be informed why are you so impetuous at that time? I believed you to be intellectual. It wasn't anybody else's fault. Time will not solve any problems."

"But how did you deal with it when you decided to set yourself free? Tell me what you did, will you? What you said was not helpful."

"...Exactly speaking, I can't act the part of yours. To compare those two guys with each other, it is difficult to make sure whether they share the same mind or not...Perhaps, now what I'm able to offer you only is to say GOOD LUCK. Looking forward to your reply."

"DEAR...-.-"

It won't be a long period of time before she leaves for any other unfamiliar land, I guess.
"I desire to stay, but I have to go, to think of the future..."

It's fixed, I know. Is there anyone volunteers to exchange his great prospect for a while's yearning?
Well, do you think it will be the most suitable explanation for the reason why you and he should be apart? My head will be shaken. You have understood his temperament; you see everyone cannot help being unpleasant when seeing the result he has brought about once again.

"The happiness that used to be in EH during last summer vacation was no longer existing in those places nowadays. I'm afraid that I'm in need of missing EH as you had ever done. But I don't mean anything, don't worry."

"..."

I think that nobody has really understood her, except for herself. Though having got along with her for more than two years, I feel like a stranger but also a familiar to her.
Many times, she made me be at sea to say. I don't like the sense of silence between us. Concealing the upset inside, I cannot carry on any more.
If you were gone, who would fill the blank you had left?
Where are you going to be...?
Where am I going to settle down...?
If reality permits, don't run away.

(At the end of the whine, I have a word with ll: don't translate it into Chinese, thanks a lot-.-)

1-14,2003 1:10 am jN.EDDA in Le Jardin


LOOKING IN

You look at me and see the girl
Who lives inside the golden world
But don't believe that's all there is to see
You'll never know the real me

She smiles through a thousand tears
And harbors adolescent fears
She dreams of all that she can never be
She wades in insecurity
And hides herself inside of me

Don't say she takes it all for granted
I'm well aware of all I have
Don't think that I am disenchanted
Please understand
It seems as though I've always been
Somebody outside looking in
Well here I am for all of them to bleed
But they can't take my heart from me
And they can't bring me to my knees
They'll never know the real me...



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